To The Childless Woman Who Cried At My Pregnancy Announcement

Hi there sweet friend,

I debated as to whether or not I should write this. Since I have not personally battled with infertility, it feels strange and somewhat inappropriate that I would speak to you about it.

All I know is that you have been on my heart and I hope the words I share convey it’s proper sentiment.

Along with others, you may have seen my recent pregnancy announcement.

However, your reaction may have differed from the congratulatory and joyful remarks I received from many.

I have experienced a certain measure of heartache. Yet, I have not walked your journey – I will not pretend to know or understand the emotions that assault your soul.

I just want you to know that my heart breaks for you when I attempt to imagine the effects of these feelings.

I imagine that you try desperately to hold back tears of anger.

I imagine that you cry out to the Lord and wonder why His blessing is blossoming in the lives of those around you while you are left standing in the shadows of sorrow.

How I wish there were words I could share to offer you comfort.

There are probably many things I could say – but I won’t. You have probably already heard everything there is to say and I know there are no words I could offer to ease the pain and sadness you feel.

There are many scriptures I could quote about trusting in God’s plan and timing and that He works all things out for good – but I won’t. You probably know them all and have their soundtrack playing continually in your mind.

If I could wish to do anything for you, it would be to jump through this screen and give you a big hug. To just sit silently with you and let you cry on my shoulder. To take your hand in mine and hold it in an embrace that says “I’m so sorry you’re hurting”.

Sometimes life is just hard. It’s unfair. We drive ourselves crazy trying to make sense of all the things we don’t understand.

Please know that I am whispering a prayer to God asking Him to comfort you – that He would gently remind you that He loves you and has not forgotten you.

I am praying that He grants the desire of your heart, and until the moment He does, that He would grant you His peace.

Please know, precious one, that you are loved… deeply.

❤ Megan

 

  10 comments for “To The Childless Woman Who Cried At My Pregnancy Announcement

  1. January 9, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Beautiful words, Megan. I’ve been on both sides of this coin. I’ve been the one struggling with infertility for years, dying inside as one after another all my friends got pregnant except for me (it seemed). I’ve also been blessed with two kids (my two little miracles) while having friends that still could not get pregnant. I think though we can’t always feel others hurts, that we acknowledge them and talk about them. That we lend that ear and cry with them. Love this post and it’s honesty.

    Like

    • January 11, 2016 at 7:55 am

      Thank you so much! So glad that the Lord blessed you with your two miracles. 🙂 I think the best thing we can do when people are hurting in this way is to just be there for them – not try to make them ‘feel better’ with words. Sometimes people just need to be allowed to feel the pain. Thanks for your sweet comment. ❤

      Like

  2. January 11, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    Beautiful post

    Liked by 1 person

  3. January 15, 2016 at 3:26 pm

    This is a powerful piece. Thank you for sharing! My wife and I ended up adopting and we saw God’s timing work perfectly!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:51 pm

      I believe adoption is at the heart of God! That is so awesome! Thanks for commenting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 17, 2016 at 5:12 am

        You’re are welcome. Someone recently asked me why we adopted. The first thing that popped into my head is the fact that, through faith, we each have been adopted. Praise God he welcomes us as sons and daughters. Have a blessed rest of your weekend.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. January 15, 2016 at 9:09 pm

    Well said! Infertility and miscarriage are extremely agonizing and everyone handles the pain differently. When we miscarried, there were 3 baby showers to attend. I didn’t mind rejoicing with my friends, but I absolutely hated hearing them complain about being pregnant and all those other things. It’s always important to be careful with what we say and I think you expressed your care for those with that specific pain very well!

    Like

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:50 pm

      Thanks for the encouraging comment. 🙂 I can imagine that would have drove you crazy..(hearing others complain about pregnancy). Over the past couple years ive run into many women who struggle with infertility, so sad 😦 I try to stay sensitive about what I say in..especially in groups.

      Like

  5. Nicole Noltensmeyer
    November 28, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    My experience was the exact opposite of infertility. My third pregnancy happened at what I thought was the worst possible time. We were actively trying not to get pregnant, but God had other plans. One of my closest friends was in her 4th year of infertility due to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and I knew how much she struggled each time a family at church announced their pregnancy. I decided that she needed to be the very first person (after my husband of course) that I told. I knew that she needed to hear it directly from me. I went to her home and told her in private. I knew that she needed to grieve and I wanted to provide her the opportunity to do so in private. Weeks later, when we made our announcement at church (my husband was a youth pastor at the time), she was able to fully rejoice with us. I honestly have no idea what I said to her that evening as we sat together on her couch. I just loved her, and hugged her, and let the tears flow. I knew that as much as she rejoiced for me, she grieved for herself. It’s been ten years and she still thanks me. (P.S. Her story ends with three beautiful girls.)

    Like

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