Simple Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse

loving your spouse

You have maybe heard the concept of the 5 Love Languages. The book by Gary Chapman was extremely popular a few years ago.

If you haven’t, I would encourage you to check it out.

The basic idea says that every person feels and communicates love in one of five ways:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service

Many people have more than one, but Chapman’s theory suggests that there is one primary language that a person leans towards.

If you’re not sure what your love language is, take this quiz and it will tell you! Don’t worry, it’s not one of those cheesy Facebook quizzes that tells you which 80’s song best describes your life or which of your friends is most likely to get arrested 🙂

When I was first told about this concept I admit, I was skeptical. Now, after being married a few years I’m convinced that understanding my husband’s love language and learning to express it has been vital to supporting the health of our relationship.

My husband and I try to remember that how we individually feel loved is often the same way we instinctively speak it.

For example:

My husband’s love language is physical touch – mine is not. Yet I am learning to recognize those moments he expresses physical touch to me as him speaking love in his natural language.

My love language is words of affirmation – his is not. He also is learning to recognize this as my natural language of expressing love to him.

We have come to understand that we need to be intentional in showing love according to the others language. But we also want to be intentional in looking for those times the other is expressing love according to their language – and choose to also accept these moments as expressions of affection too.

I believe that the nurture and consistent tending of our marriage is one of the greatest ways we can serve our Lord.

Think about this…

Healthy marriages are the foundation to healthy families. Healthy families are an important foundation to a strong, united and effective church. An effective church is the foundation to the advancement of God’s Kingdom.

This is why the enemy loves attacking marriages. They are, in many ways, at the source of accomplishing much of the work God is performing in and through us.

So, here are some of my ideas how you can speak love to your spouse according to their language.

I hope what this does is inspire you to consider ways you can intentionally show love to your husband or wife. I hope it inspires you to regularly tend and cultivate your marriage and do your part to keep it strong for Him.


Words of Affirmation

  1. Say ‘thank you’ for all the hard work they do – either in the home or at their job.
  2. Say ‘thank you’ for some simple, daily thing they do for you.
  3. Compliment them on something they do well – in front of others!
  4. Have you seen an area of maturity or growth in their life? Affirm and confirm it by telling them that you notice.

Quality Time

  1. Put your phone, ipad or computer away and spend an entire, undistracted evening together.
  2. Take them on a date to their favorite restaurant.
  3. Spend some time together doing something they like to do.
  4. Ask them questions to spark meaningful conversation.

Physical Touch

  1. Grab their hand and hold on as you walk down the grocery store isle.
  2. Put your arm around them as you’re sitting together in church.
  3. Offer to give them a massage.
  4. Gently place your hand on their shoulder or back as a sign of affection.

Receiving Gift

  1. Come home with concert tickets to their favorite band or game tickets for their favorite team.
  2. Surprise them at work with a drink from their favorite coffee shop.
  3. Buy or make a CD of their favorite songs and put in their car.
  4. Instead of buying something for a birthday or holiday, make them something.

Acts of Service

  1. Ask what you can do to help them!!
  2. Is there a certain chore around the house that is their responsibility? Do it for them.
  3. Clean out and vacuum their car.
  4. Get the kids up, dressed and fed while they sleep in.

simple ways to love your spouse


  6 comments for “Simple Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse

  1. September 5, 2015 at 10:53 pm

    That book was so eye opening to me as well! I have also found that it is important to learn the love languages of my kids, friends, and parents so I can show them love in the way they understand it best as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 7, 2015 at 8:32 am

      Yes!! The principle can be applied to anyone! I’m already starting to see what my 4 yr old’s language is. 🙂


  2. September 6, 2015 at 8:03 am

    I also like that book. It’s been awhile since I have read it. I think it is time to pick it back up. I like your comment here and I see lots of wisdom in it. It is a great reminder for me. —–

    But we also want to be intentional in looking for those times the other is expressing love according to their language – and choose to also accept these moments as expressions of affection too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 7, 2015 at 8:35 am

      Thanks, Lisa!! Yes, we’ve come to find that it’s important for us to recognize these times too. It can be hard though, because we have to lay aside our own personal preferences.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Del Clark
    September 7, 2015 at 9:18 am

    You never cease to amaze me young lady! Your love for the things of God inspire so many. Praying that God will continue to bless your marraige and family and inspire you to continue to encourage those who need to hear the love of God expressed through your life and willingness to share it. Love you guys!

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 7, 2015 at 6:49 pm

      Thank you so much for such kind words, Del! …and thanks for your prayers for us! I hope and pray that He uses us to encourage and build up others. 🙂 We miss all of you guys back home.


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